TWO DAYS!!

In two days Transformers 2 comes out! Sooo excited! My obsession for Shia is really wrong, take my obsession with Tom Hanks and put that into terms of endearment for Shia...yea Shia would not stand a chance with me around. I'd be on a movie set and be like "you..me...trailer...NOW".

The word "babe"

Okay so when I hear the word babe it's either because you are a good friend of mine or are relationship worthy. I personally use hun...example: "Hey hun are you free later" "Hey hun can you pass the stapler" stuff like that, but when you get "Hey babe what are you doing later" that equals relationship worthy, but this inparticular guy has had a 13 year girlfriend. When is babe appropriate? Inappropriate?

n.

1. A baby; an infant.
2. An innocent or naive person.
3. Slang. A young woman.
4. Informal. Sweetheart; dear. Used as a term of endearment

Now since I am not #1 I can understand the rest, but look at number 4. I am leaning towards inappropriate.

Another good example of babe in the appropriate way...someone says "happy birthday" "thanks babe". That's a good example. 

Inappropriate: Hey babe we should get a hotel

HAHAAA INAPPROPRIATE! Go sleep in the same bed as your gf you are banned from mine. Plus with age you grow wisdom..right..right. So for a 35 year old man you would think he'd learn the meaning behind words and when not to say them. And he's reaching 40 which really makes me not want to continue our little fling (which I think he hasn't gotten the hint I've been avoiding sex with him for the last 7 months) So I'm thinking that drugs were involved in his childhood. Drugs can distort your memory soooo I'm thinking he just doesn't know lines and boundaries. Or he could think I'm the pig in the movie and thinks my name is Babe...hmm that would bring a whole new meaning to inappropriate.

M to the D to the OT

Oh Jamie's life. I knew life is like a box of chocolates would be a great heading. So yesterday started out awful then I got home from work and have never been so excited to just fall asleep and start a new day. BUT before I go to bed I started thinking about Mike because I hadn't seen him in a while and missed him. Close my eyes...buzz buzz. Mike is texting me he wants to see me. I ended up having the best night drank wine, went in his sauna, watched a movie..took a shower hehe and then he just held me as I fell asleep in his arms. It was like a brand new day because I was so pissed off at the world basically all day up until midnight. After midnight it really became a new day. Of course there were some lies told in this making of amazing night. So I know my parents would freak if I went out after midnight so I said "One of the flights got diverted and Sean has a line of people to check in and can't handle it all. I have to help him and if I'm there past 2 hours I might come home or I'll get a room...actually I will get a room" HAHAHA and IT WORKED! Told same story to my sister so I could borrow her car, she was sleeping so I knew if I told her the truth then she'd get all questioning. I told her in the morning Mike came to the hotel though because I didn't want to not tell her I saw him. Then I called Sean in case Denise Police called to talk to me so he could say I was sleeping HAHA. I am not a liar, but my god I was coming up with great ones last night, of course only to the rents cuz I knew they wouldn't let me out of the house. I even drove on route 1 back and forth AND IN TRAFFIC! I was sooo proud of myself! Last night was just awesome and just started out miserable and just became perfect. I know Mike and I will never be an item, but I feel good knowing he was thinking about me and I guess all hope isn't lost for my love life. PLus I was out of my house that made the perfect sweet escape. :) so happy right now!! No rain just sun. Thank you god for answering my prayers.

Raining

So today I woke up and it was downpouring, who would have known that I'd be raining myself all morning. I wake up and think oh I love life to going downstairs to have a nice bowl of greatness until the greatness got stomped on, kicked on and thrown around like a basketball. I cannot stand living in this house lately. I do or say one little thing and my head gets knocked around like a volleyball. I must have gotten yelled at and told how I was liked a little bit less than what i used to be because I am rude, sarcastic and am adament. By the way this all started because I said I was confused and asked a question. HA! What a rude son of a bitch I must be! I wasn't doing anything except listening to my patriarch talk about gas prices and how it's so expensive and blah blah blah GAS IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE HIGH! I see gas all the time! All I said was "gas is always high and always will be a cost" that was my rude sarcastic remark. Then I was admament because I asked NICELY if I could get the car before my parents go away but NOOOOOO I have to get yelled at throughout my nice bowl of raisin bran. Then I go downstairs to talk to my mom nicely and HE has to come down there and interrupt every 5 minutes to yell some more and didn't even know what we were talking about because he yelled about irrevelant shit. Then told me he wasn't going to go get the car with me. I am being more than patient and this fucking car business is making me sick. I have stopped talking about cars unless he brings it up. Then get my neck chewed out. And after I was done being yelled at for 3 hours because I didn't have anywhere to escape to I just laid in my bed and cried. I can't take this pain anymore and just feel so depressed and awful being here. It's like I don't exist or only exist to be the warden's whipping boy. And the worst part is after I was done crying I figured I'd watch some zombie or scary movie and my sister starts naming off love movies to go see and that just made me feel alone. I feel like a loser just crying by myself and I just have noone to call and talk to. My friends are either with their boyfriends or with their husbands or out and I don't want to damper their day. Some of my friends have changed and aren't themselves anymore so I don't want to call them because they will just change the story and make it about them and complain about how bad they have it. And the sad thing is everyone around me is in love and I can't even open up that way. It's like I'm a damaged soul that will never get over her past. I hear about how great love is and wonderful it is, but when I see love through my eyes I am scared and afraid. I don't want to be with someone who yells at me or calls me names or hits me, I don't want to be with someone who will cheat on me, I don't want someone who will leave me and I don't want someone who lives hundreds of miles away. I want someone to make me feel special today, tomorrow and the next day. It's like I'm looking for the perfect guy that doesn't exist so I can protect myself, but I'm just hurting. I'm so alone and empty that it's like inside of me is raining and it's such a bad flood I can't breathe. I am a happy person and I love to smile and joke and do crazy things, but honestly, lately I'm not feeling like myself. I just want the sun to come out and the clouds to go away.